why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
