dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
nutella sex= disaster
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
