at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
