worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
