when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize