did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
