so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
