Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
