We're like a lot better than the average bears
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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