I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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