Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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