i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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