My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
