Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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