I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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