WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
