I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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