when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
not ubering you a puppy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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