Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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