just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
