I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
