She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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