My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
