Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
