Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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