not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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