Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
