yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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