he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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