i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
