I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
