I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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