i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
