ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
