she woke up with a sticky ear
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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