There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
