i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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