yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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