i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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