fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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