a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
