Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
