sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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