His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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