The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
