This is not my ceiling
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
