Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
