Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize