He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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