In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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