Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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