I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
