Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
