did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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