I'm drive I can fine osifer
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize