i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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