But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
