it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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