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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  haha what'd she say

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.

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• (805): View more from California

  im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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• (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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• (818): View more from California

  Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.

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