i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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