Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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  (303): other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do http://tfl.nu/c5r9
  Replies (14) Good night (5895) Bad night (1469)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5523) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5571) Bad night (1158)
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  (949): View more from California

  You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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  (949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j
  Replies (15) Good night (3110) Bad night (736)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

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  (443): Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk http://tfl.nu/uult
  Replies (1) Good night (1296) Bad night (623)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.

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  (812): Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding. http://tfl.nu/ofow
  Replies (16) Good night (2512) Bad night (975)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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  (602): Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8fpl
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life

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  (618): She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life http://tfl.nu/m1em
  Replies (8) Good night (2696) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.

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  (732): Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit. http://tfl.nu/pssm
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (449)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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  (706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (1049)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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  (505): I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single. http://tfl.nu/1f65
  Replies (10) Good night (1736) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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  (406): That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ierd
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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  (313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (325)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed

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  (512): i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed http://tfl.nu/6l3x
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (233)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.

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  (908): I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work. http://tfl.nu/aq0t
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (234)

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