I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.