i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.