Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.