oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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