i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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