KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
