Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
