Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
